Say Something
by everybreatheverymove
Summary: Oneshot based around 10x12 - It's his mentor's words and the ache in his gut that tell him what he's known all along; he was in love with her, but she's getting married to somebody else and he won't give up this time. Originally a Tumblr prompt: Jackson interrupts the wedding.
1. Chapter 1

**This is another interpretation of what might happen during the mid-season finale. It ends pretty abruptly, but it's a cliffhanger like I'm expecting it to be in the show. Enjoy and leave reviews!**

* * *

"Dude, shouldn't you be getting ready?"

Jackson turns slightly at the voice, raising a brow curiously when Alex leans against the nurse's desk. He snaps his attention away from his patient and glances at his friend.

"Huh?"

Alex rolls his eyes, "Kepner's crazy-ass idea of a wedding?"

The man just licks his lips and blinks a couple of times as he glances away to the ground, "Yeah, I'm not going to that." He shakes his head and shrugs as though it's nothing.

"Seriously?"

Jackson stuffs his hands in his pockets and walks over to the desk, "What?"

"Nothing, man. I just can't believe you're letting her marry that dweeb." Alex attempts with a slight chuckle.

Jackson sighs and grabs the blue chart hanging from the edge of the desk. He opens it up and flicks through the pages as he speaks, "Yeah, well, what she chooses to do is her problem. Not mine. We're done."

Alex pats his shoulder with a smirk, "Dude, I don't know about her, but _you_'re far from done." He walks away then, leaving Jackson to ponder his thoughts.

What the hell does that mean? He has no idea what he's talking about.

He has moved on, he's sure of it. He's gotten over it, over her, and now they've both moved on with their lives and relationships. Now they're back to being friends, just as they were before. Well, not exactly, but probably as close as they could get without actually _getting_ close.

They're not best friends anymore, he realizes that, but he's happy that they've gotten past all of the awkwardness, all of the drama. He's happy for her, he's happy that she's happy.

Or at least he convinces himself that he is, because he knows that deep down he's not willing to admit what he's really feeling.

Because it's scary.

He's not even sure what he feels for her anymore, but the ache in his gut tells him that it's not good, that it's definitely frightening, and that he should just push the feeling aside and let her get on with her life.

With her Prince Charming. With her fairytale. With her wedding.

But then his heart starts thumping and his mind starts reeling, and he's back to doubling over in pain at the thought of her leaving him behind.

It scares him.

The image of her walking down a white aisle and meeting another man at the end scares him to death, and he's only now just realizing it. The thought of her marrying another man, of her handing herself over, scares him. The picture in his head of somebody else touching her body, the body that he claimed as his possession time and time again, haunts him.

He lightly shudders at the thought, closing his eyes tight and unintentionally balling his fists.

She's his, they're the only words that course through his brain over and over again; _she is his_. She belongs to him, and he belongs to her.

The idea of losing her to somebody else scares the crap out of him, but he remembers some wise words that were once spoken to him.

_Even if you're scared_.

Mark Sloan's voice lingers in his ear and he sighs, rubbing his hands against the back of his neck.

_You say it, and you say it loud_.

And then it all comes crashing down on him.

He's in love with her.

He isn't over her, no matter how hard he tried to deny it or rebuff the feeling. He hasn't moved on, despite his many attempts to convince himself that his relationship with Stephanie was anything but a distraction.

And she had been smart, she had left when she had realized that she wasn't going to get anything more from him. She had figured out that he wasn't ever going to fall for her because his heart was already in the hands of some neurotic redhead with a tendency to change her mind, and he was only now realizing it himself.

He was in love with her.

And he was scared. To lose her. To give up on her when she never wanted him to. But he did, he gave up on her, he didn't fight for her, and he tries to tell himself that it's because she didn't want him to, but then her words from the night of the storm rush to mind and he's back to square one.

She wanted him to fight. She wanted him. She wanted him to want her.

And he did, he always has. But he was just too much of a coward to realize it.

He wasn't willing to admit to himself that he wanted her back then because he never allowed himself to believe that she'd truly move on. He never thought that he'd actually see the day that she married another man. That she left him forever.

He can't lose her, he tells her. He can't. Because without her, then he doesn't know who he is.

She's always been his April, his perky and nervous best friend who usually talked too much or said the wrong thing. She was the April who kept him in place and never let him get too proud and always reminded him of who he really was at heart.

She was his April. She was his.

He can't imagine her marrying somebody else because, for the past year and a half, he's had a vision in his head of a big house with a white picket fence, and her tiny and pale body stood behind it waiting for him with a smile on her face.

And they would be married. And they would have kids. And a yard. And a dog. And they'd be happy, and together, and it'd be perfect.

But the vision is ruined when he gets replaced by some dorky paramedic with a heart of gold and the virtue of a saint.

_He_ won't be able to give her the wedding she always wanted. _He_ won't be able to give her a field, with butterflies and mints.

No, instead, it'll be the paramedic with a heart of gold and the virtue of a saint that gives her all of those things, that gives her everything she always wanted from him.

And all because he was too much of a coward to admit to her, and to himself, that he wanted her, that he loved her, that he was in love with her.

And Mark Sloan's words continue to ring in his brain and he glances sideways to catch a glimpse of his patient.

If he had just been able to accept her for everything she was, for all of her flaws, when they were together, then he wouldn't be in this place.

He wouldn't feel like crap, like his heart was being ripped out.

He wouldn't want to murder the nurses stood beside him, gushing about how adorable her and Matthew were. Her, his. April, his April.

Not Matthew's.

_Even if you're scared_.

And he's not so scared anymore.

* * *

The whole world seems to stop around her.

The audience stops muttering, the wind outside stops blowing. Goosebumps creep up her bare arms and her throat tightens.

"Jackson?" She squeaks, eyes wide and hands shaking.

She remains in place, her hands resting by her sides and her full attention focused straight on the man in front of her.

Jackson frowns and his mouth draws into a line as he watches her. His gaze shifts down to her dress and he softly smiles, licking his lips and blinking a couple of times.

He's stood at the end of the aisle, the doors still swinging in the background after his hurried entrance.

He hadn't planned to barge in like this, to intrude on the moment. He'd expected to find her in her dressing room, to find her nervously shaking in a corner somewhere, not already stood beside her groom and priest and waiting for him to speak.

He thanks himself for changing into a tux on the way, and not rolling up in his scrubs or a pair of jeans and a shirt.

It's already disrespectful enough, he thinks, as he feels a woman's deep eyes shooting daggers at him.

"I-" He cuts himself short and takes a deep breath and he carelessly throws his hands down at his sides.

"What are you doing?" April asks, her expression shocked and of complete bewilderment. Her eyes never leave his as she chews on her bottom lip and tries to ignore the angry look on Matthew's face. Whatever he's feeling is the least of her worries at the moment.

Jackson can make out the sound of Cristina's voice in the crowd, whispering something quickly and holding back a laugh.

He now realizes how stupid he is. He's interrupting the most important moment of her life, and all for himself. She obviously doesn't want him here, she obviously doesn't want him anymore because otherwise she wouldn't be this close to marrying someone else. But he's gonna fight anyway, because he promised Mark Sloan that he would. So, he swallows his pride and takes a deep breath.

He's not sure what to say to explain himself, to justify his actions. He shrugs slowly, gently frowning as he feels tears swelling in his eyes. "I'm in love with you, April- I'm giving you a reason."

He won't cry, he fights, he can't. He won't let himself.

But he won't let her walk away from him again, at least not without giving it his best shot.

April's face softens and she gasps with a sob. She just stares at him, lifting her veil and taking a sharp breath as she steps down from the podium.

He's scared again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, this was written in a hurry and the ending is kind of rushed and cheesy but people were asking for a follow-up so here you go! Enjoy and leave reviews! :)**

* * *

She nervously bites down on her lip as she steps away from her groom, her hands tightly clasping the sides of her long white dress.

She's aware of the eyes on her, her co-workers grins and the frown adorning her mother's face.

"Kimmie, who is that?" The older Kepner quietly asks her daughter, stood in place by the altar.

Kimmie softly smiles and shrugs, "The guy she should be marrying."

April ignores their conversation and continues her walk back down the aisle. She zooms past Jackson and slips through the wooden doors at the end of the barn.

The outside air is cool against her skin and she walks around the side of the building, tossing her head back against the surface and letting out a loud cry.

What the hell was happening?

She thought that this had been it. This was the end. He hadn't wanted her when she'd pleaded. He hadn't given her a second thought when he'd moved on with Stephanie. He never gave her a sign to believe that he felt differently that how he was acting.

She had thought that he had moved on, that he had gotten over her, over them ever being together.

And she was slowly starting to convince herself that she was, that she was over him. And then he goes and surprises her like this.

"Do you want me to do anything?" She glances up at the sound of her sister's voice and swallows a breath.

Libby Kepner folds her arms over her chest and sighs,

"I think that leaving the building probably wasn't the best idea."

April glares at her, "What would you have liked me to do?" She shakes her head and brings a hand up to her hair to remove her veil.

Libby lends a hand and slowly pulls the cloth out from the small tiara on her head. She straightens April's hair gently and smiles down at her younger sister, "You could go back in there..."

The redhead declines her suggestion and anxiously toys with the veil. "No. I - I can't do this. Okay? I can't."

Libby frowns and leans back against the barn beside her, "You can't do what? Marry Matthew or leave with Jackson?"

April licks her lips and closes her eyes. She sighs, "Any of it. I can't do it."

"Well," Libby starts, pulling April into a hug when she looks like she's about to collapse. "You have a pretty nice guy in there waiting to see if you want to marry him or not." April pulls way and throws her shoulders back as Libby continues, "And then there's a guy who's waiting to see if you love him back."

"What am I supposed to do?"

The eldest Kepner shrugs with a faint smile, "If if were me, and believe me I would love for it to be, I'd go with my heart."

"But what if that's the safe choice?"

"Then it's definitely the right one."

April nods slowly, and takes a second to gather herself before she brushes her hands along the sides of her dress and taking a deep breath, "Okay."

They proceed to make their way back into the building, and Libby stays back as April marches up to the altar, her gaze flickering over to Jackson's saddened expression.

She steps over to him quietly and whispers, "I think you might have won."

Stood at the back of the barn, Jackson only briefly glances down at her before turning back towards April, who pulls Matthew behind the altar and away from the guests.

"I think I just lost her." He replies back in a barely-there tone, his voice breaking as he quickly turns away to leave the building.

Libby watches him walk away, eyes wide and mouth agape.

She had assumed that April would have chosen him.

"Don't leave." She attempts to stop him, catching up with him and grasping his arm, "Look, she's just in shock, is all. I know my sister, alright? And I know that it took some balls to do what you just did, and I know how she thinks. You won, she wants you."

He's always been a sore-loser, and always been one to give up easily.

"Then where is she?" He asks and raises a brow before slipping past the entrance door and leaving it to sway behind him.

* * *

He drinks his troubles away that evening.

He's not drunk, but he's on his fourth glass of scotch and his head is killing him.

How stupid, he thinks. How foolish and childish of him to barge in on her wedding day and profess his undying love for her. How cheesy, how sappy. How freaking stupid could he get, he asks himself as he swallows another sip of the rough liquid.

He had tried, though, he congratulates himself. At least he had attempted to change her mind, to stop her from making the biggest mistake of her life.

But maybe that hadn't been the biggest mistake of her life. Maybe _he_ had been.

Maybe it was all a sign that they never should have happened in the first place. Maybe it was a message from God or whoever that he was feeling this way as payback for messing with a girl of the church.

Maybe he never should have tried to fight for her.

He downs another sip and closes his eyes as he places the glass back down on his kitchen counter. His apartment's quiet, aside from the noise of cars driving by outside. He leans forward against the island, letting his head drop into his hands.

How the hell had things gotten so screwed up?

He was supposed to win her over, and take her home, and show her just how much he loved her, and apologize profoundly for not realizing it sooner.

He wasn't supposed to come home after five minutes, slip off his jacket and tux pants and hang around drinking in his shirt and tie with a headache and a numbness in his chest.

She was supposed to be with him.

Although, maybe she wasn't.

He snaps out of his thoughts when bell to his apartment rings and he doesn't check who it is before he buzzes them in and up to his place. He guesses that it's probably Yang or Alex coming to torment him a little bit more, as if the dozen of joking messages hadn't been enough to remind him of his foolishness.

A soft knocking on his door makes him stand up straight and he rolls his eyes as the knocking doesn't stop. "I'm coming, will you chill out?!"

He groans as he pulls the door open, his gaze falling on the petite redhead standing in the doorway.

She glances up at his face silently, biting on her bottom lip and letting her shoulders drop with a soft smile.

"You left."

He nods and rests a hand against the door frame.

He can't invite her in after what had happened. He can't allow himself.

"You didn't leave me a choice."

April sighs and pauses for a moment before speaking up again, "I picked you, you know." She shrugs and stares up at the doorway for a second before catching his attention again, "I chose you, and then when I went to find you, Libby told me that you left. Why did you leave?'

"I thought you chose him."

He backs away from the door and lets her inside, glancing down at her outfit. She's wearing a pair of jeans and light pink shirt, and her hair is still pinned back like it was earlier.

"I would never choose him over you."

Jackson closes the door as she walks through behind him, "That's never stopped you before." He mutters and she sighs.

"You know what? Yes, I did choose him before, but it's only because you didn't know what you wanted! I needed a little reassurance and a little guidance and you just played with me and didn't say anything. Did you want me then? Or did you just send me back to him because you were scared?"

He doesn't know how she got so good at reading him. But then he remembers that they had been best friends for four years before anything had happened between them.

"April-"

"I was scared, too, alright? I didn't know what I was doing, and I'd never felt like that before. And then I tell you that I want you, only you, and you tell me to stop messing with you and make up my mind. So, yes, I did. I made up my mind, I chose him back then because you didn't want me. Or maybe you did but you just had a hard time showing it."

She paces the living room and stops her gaze down on the bottle of Scotch resting on his kitchen counter. She walks over to the bottle and pours a little more of the beverage in his glass before she takes a sip.

He frowns and licks his lips as he watches her.

"What are you doing?"

"I am having a drink! Because you infuriate me!" She finishes the drink and swallows a deep breath when he comes closer to her. He stops in front of her and pushes the glass away from her. "I chose you." She repeats and casts her attention down to the wooden floor.

Jackson nods. He pulls the loosened tie away from his neck and drops it away on the floor.

She watches it fall with a grin and glances back up at him.

"And I- Uh... I-" She starts and nervously steps from one foot to the other with a deep breath, "I love you, too." She smiles sadly and drops her arms as she tilts her head to the side, "I'm _in_ love with you, too."

"You chose me?" He questions as if he doesn't already know the answer and her smile grows.

April nods and looks back up at his face passionately, "I chose you."

"Yeah. Well, I chose you, too."

"It took you long enough." She grins as he chuckles and circles an arm around her waist to pull her against him.

She bites her lip as she glances down at the body, "You're not wearing any pants."

He smirks and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, "Yeah, I kinda took them off in anger after I left."

"You should have waited for me. Karev had to give me a ride here." She raises a brow and places her hands flat against his chest.

Jackson places his hands on her hips and leans his forehead against hers, "I think we've done enough waiting."

April giggles and melts into him when he finally kisses her, his hands sliding up and down her sides slowly and her fists gathering the material of his shirt.

"I'm really glad you stopped me today." She whispers when they pull away.

He beams down at her, "Well I had to say something."


End file.
